Bella Vida

Married for 6 years. Trying to have a baby almost as long. Living a Beautiful Life.

My Photo
Location: Maryland, United States

Married & Trying to have a baby for almost 4 years. Dealing with MF (male factor infertility).

Monday, June 30, 2008

Working weekend

New paint and light fixture. Gotta touch-up the walls and trim still. Yes, there's a lot of color in our home. What can I say? I grew up in South Florida and I love color.

Marble floor tiles we're installing.

Slowly but surely we're getting there. I really want to make more of an effort to get more done on my own this week. Waiting for the weekend really puts the squeeze on these projects. I'm so sore and tired today. I didn't get to bed until 6:30am. Not cuz I was working on the bath, but cuz I was glued to Ree's story of how she met her husband. Such a great story! Can't wait to see the next part. I'm new to her site and it has quickly become one of my favorite new obsessions. Her recipes are simple and look marvelous. Food blogs are my new thing as of late. I'm not doing any cooking, but just like looking at the pics :)

Food Porn Daily
Palmabella's Passions
Cream Puffs in Venice (via
The Pioneer Woman

Italy, Food and Farms--all my favorite things.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Stamp out infertility

There are times when I can actually feel a baby in my arms resting on my chest. At first, it's comforting and warm. I can feel her head cradled in my protective hand and my lips kissing her soft head. And then I take a breath and as my lungs fill with air and my chest rises, I feel the heavy emptiness. Sometimes when we're in bed I imagine him in between us. I see my hand stroking his tiny back. The pain of infertility is so palpable for me. The air is thick and I feel as though someone is seated on my neck.

Seeing this stamp reminded me of that feeling.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Welcome to rambles

1/2 Bath before demo

My house is such a mess. I don't feel like doing anything cuz everywhere I look there are piles of crap!

I joined a gym for a month. Yay me!! I'm starting slowly. I can't believe there was actually a point in my past where I ran 3-miles a day. Long time ago. But still. Wow. Just keep swimming...

Anyone considering doing the 21-day cleanse?

My battery died or rather was dead when I went to crank my car on Monday morning. Finally got a new one today. Glad it was something simple and cheap. Also glad hubbs and I can do these things ourselves.

Monday I had a doc appointment that I had to cancel. I was going in to ask for a script for meds. You know, of the feel good variety. Now I can't get back in until mid July. I often look for signs in things. Something trying to get in my way. However, I do tend to use that idea when it's convenient though.

One of things we're doing on our own is the 1/2 bath downstairs. This past weekend we ripped out the toilet, sink and floor. Whew! Created even more of mess. We're also doing the ceramic & marble tile floors ourselves. Yeah, crazy, I know. When I was younger I was so into DIY. Now, I just want to call someone but money always pushes me or motivates me. BTW, marble tiles are hella heavy!!

So if anyone has DIY bathroom or tile advice, give it to me!

1/2 Bath after demo

Thursday, June 12, 2008

I'm addicted...

to this song and video:

Seriously, if Mr. Heckles lived below me, he'd be hitting the ceiling with a
Also addicted to this kettle popcorn: Indiana Popcorn

Thursday, June 05, 2008

Yep, another post about Charlotte

Ok. So hubbs* and I went to see Sex and the City over the weekend. As everyone knows from the previews (which pretty much tell the entire movie) Charlotte is pregnant.

--------SPOILERS AHEAD--------

In the film, after adopting a baby, Charlotte finds herself with a surprise pregnancy. She tosses out there that people told her once she relaxed and adopted--she would get pregnant. Ya know, like magic. When this scene played on the big screen, I actually laughed out load and said something along the lines of "yeah, right." Very loudly. In a silent theater. I should have stood up and yelled like Sunny. It was a really bothersome scene and it took a little while sitting there to get back to enjoying the film. In my head I tried to make excuses for the whole thing. I told myself that it was written by a man and that people who haven't experienced infertility (IF) just can't understand. Similar to what I tell myself when someone says those things to me. I find I have to rationalize it so I don't get too upset by it anymore.

Don't we all wish there was a magic solution or cure to IF. But here in the real world, real crappy stuff happens. Sometimes over and over to the same people. What's funny is that the IF storyline struck me so, and was very hard for me to believe. But the rest of it I was able to buy hook, line, and sinker. I bought into the fantasy that someone left standing at the alter would run back into the arms of the man that left her there. Perhaps someone else in a theater cried out at the scene where there finally was a wedding because she was left at the alter and thought "there is no way in hell."

I liked the movie a lot in spite of Charlotte and her magic pregnancy. I've accepted that there are things you can't understand until you've experience them. Perhaps that's just the way I keep myself from wishing evil upon others on a daily basis. Like my mother when she called to tell me that I needed to douche with salt water in order to get pregnant. Cuz, ya know, she was talking to a woman at a party who tried to get pregnant for 13 years and it worked for her 40 years ago. Never mind the sperm issue we have. Douching will fix allllll that. Anyway...

*Don't feel sorry for my husband for having to see this with me. We saw Indiana Jones first and then Sex. Besides, he actually liked it :)

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

Summer Salads

Chicken Salad pic from Web. Looks very much like my mine did.

Since our brief stay with my in-laws, I'm addicted to tuna salad. My mother-in-law had some in her fridge the night of the grape martinis and I fell in love with it the moment I tasted it. I kept telling hubbs how wonderful it was and how he just had to taste it. So he finally tastes it and of course says "um...yeah. Tastes like it always does." My face kinda went flat and then I became instantly jealous that he grew up eating something so wonderful on a regular basis. Anyway, I found a similar recipe online and it's very good:

Barbie's Tuna Salad
  • 1 (7 ounce) can white tuna, drained and flaked
  • 4-6 tablespoons mayonnaise or salad dressing
  • 1 tablespoon Parmesan cheese
  • 3 tablespoons sweet pickle relish
  • 1/8 teaspoon dried minced onion flakes*
  • 1/4 teaspoon curry powder
  • 1 tablespoon dried parsley
  • 1 teaspoon dried dill weed
  • 1 pinch garlic powder
In a medium bowl, stir together the tuna, mayonnaise, Parmesan cheese, and onion flakes. Season with curry powder, parsley, dill and garlic powder. Mix well and serve with crackers or on a sandwich.

*When my MIL makes it, she soaks the onion flakes in water first. I've been doing it too and I like it better than leaving them dry.

Changes I made:
I doubled the recipe and used 2-cans of tuna.
I didn't add the curry or dill b/c I didn't have them.
I used a lot more relish and onion flakes than called for--but I'm excessive like that.
I added salt and pepper and a bit it cayenne.
I added 2 boiled eggs.

While we were in Hawaii, we ate lunch at a little deli and had a wonderful (expensive) chicken salad. I made this recipe too: Carol's Chicken Salad using rotisserie chicken I got from the grocery store. Also very good. The grapes added a nice sweet burst to the chicken. I left the nuts and celery out, added 1 boiled egg and used Parm instead of Swiss. Great quick recipes for someone who barely has a kitchen!