Bella Vida

Married for 6 years. Trying to have a baby almost as long. Living a Beautiful Life.

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Location: Maryland, United States

Married & Trying to have a baby for almost 4 years. Dealing with MF (male factor infertility).

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Skiing and Sundance...again

Park City Ski Resort, 2009

Sundance Poster, Village at The Yard, 2009

Dear me. I've been hiding...again. I've also been skiing (slightly) and to Sundance...again. This all seems like deja-vu. Perhaps it was the job that made me go into hiding. Perhaps it was the impending baby-less holiday season. I'm not sure. I just know I've been fearful a lot and it's made me abandon things. I haven't check email in months. And of course it creates a lot of anxiety. LOL. I laugh at myself here. The absurdity of it all. Anyway, I'm trying to dig myself outta the dark hole. One of the things I'm starting with is this blog. Why not?

I haven't been up to much except work and the ski trip. Work is fine and I'm so thankful to have a job. The trip to Utah was good. I managed to ski down the mountain once and then on over to the bar. The lift still freaks me the hell out, and I was actually shaking while clinging to my glass of wine at the Park City Legends bar. That was the extent of my skiing. Returned the rented skis the same day. O-V-E-R it.

We managed to see 3-films this time. One really weird art-installation-ish screening and 2-actual films. We saw Push and The Girlfriend Experience both at the Eccles Theater. Push was a very sad but amazing film. I'm so happy we were able to not only get in to see it, but to also to meet the director Lee Daniels and the films main character actress--Gabby Sidibe (pics to come). The story is so tragic I almost have no words, but the performances are so incredible. Must see. The Steven Soderbergh screening was interesting. His newest film is one of those that is completely outta sequence. You see 5-10 minute clips and have to put it together in your head. Soderbergh introduced the film and closed with questions from the audience. Not a bad film. I just didn't see a purpose to it. It didn't make me feel anything. I did notice how he played with his wedding ring while answering questions about the films star though.

A very close friend is pregnant. She is a fellow IFer and I'm happy for her. I have 3 girlfriends. Two of the three got pregnant last year. The two that I'm closest to. I spent the ski holiday with my newly pregnant girlfriend I've know since I was 5. We talked about her fears of never actually holding a live baby in July. We talked about the scars IF leaves you with that won't heal just cuz you have a positive pee stick. We talked about how others just don't get that. We talked about the twin she lost and and the nuchal scan of the surviving twin that was measuring "off the charts abnormal" and then a week later suddenly appeared normal. We talked about things I can only imagine daydreaming about. Wine works quicker in higher altitudes.

So here I am. I'll try to be kinda consistent. BTW, COSTCO sells discount lift tickets. We got them for $50/each when the regular price at the lift was $83. No one talks/tells you about this?? Or at least no one had told me. I happened upon the info 1-day before our trip and we picked up the tickets at the Salt Lake store.

Thursday, October 16, 2008


That's what you guys are. Awesome!. I really appreciate all the info on getting Clomid cheaper. I haven't done anything still/yet, but I'm definitely going to consider the generic meds. I usually don't, but what the hey, huh?

The J-O-B. I'm working as the branch manager of an employment/temporary agency. Not anything like what I've been doing previously, but I'm so freakin grateful to have a job I can't even put it into words. Happy happy thankful me.

All the women I'm working with have kids. Today I was having a convo about kids and I was informed that the baby birth rate is on the decline. Well, of course, I said, "oh yeah, with so many having infertility problems LIKE ME AND MY HUSBAND I'm sure the numbers have gone down." The woman I was talking to kinda looks at me and says "well people can't afford to have children right now with the economy crisis." Ummmmm....yeah...that too. So I outed myself. Hahahaha. But not really that funny.

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Rush Rush

I got a new job and I've been busy trying to settle life as much as possible before being out of the house full-time for the first time in over 4-years. Wow. So I've been a blog slacker. I hope to catch with everyone this weekend. I have no idea what's going on out there!

Hubbs hasn't started the Clomid yet b/c we're fighting with the insurance company b/c they don't want to cover it. Crazy times. We will definitely start by next Monday with or without coverage. It's $235 without coverage for 12-pills I think. Yuck.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Grout, Whoops and Complaint

the grout...

We chose a dark grout because this is the laundry room and we wanted less worry about stains.

This grout was sanded and not as smooth as the marble grout so it left a lot of crumbs that had to be swept before sponge wiping. We used unsanded grout for the marble and sanded for the ceramic. Sanded grout will scratch marble and all other shiny or polished stone tiles.

This is after three wipe-downs with a sponge and water. It took a total of 4-wipe-downs and water changes.

Here's a look at the grout as it's drying. The darker areas are still wet.

All done. Washer and dryer are back in place. We still have trim painting to do.

the whoops...

So here's a sad little story. This is our original bathroom mirror that we had decided we would cut and frame for the new bathroom. Here's hubbs scoring the mirror to snap-cut it.

Here he's using the snap tool to help it break along the line.

Here's the whoops. The scoring didn't work worth a darn. Perhaps the mirror was too thick? So off we went to IKEA and got a new one. I'm still going to frame it.

Here comes the complaint. Last year we got a brand new DVD recorder and player by SAMSUNG. It's the R155. Do not buy this player. It's has an over heating problem that eventually kills the processor. It worked really well for a few months and then stopped playing certain DVDs. Now it won't play anything. Of course I contacted Samsung and they told me unless I could produce a receipt so that they could determine if the warranty it still good, they couldn't help. I argued that this is a known problem with this model and they should stand behind their product, but no luck. I also told them that although I no longer had the receipt, the manufacture date on the player is June 2007 so it couldn't be very old, but nope. I even offered to pay for the shipping to have it fixed, but still nothing. My husband is writing a letter of complaint and we'll see if that does anything. Terrible customer service and a terrible product. I'll never buy another Samsung anything. Beware of the Samsung R155 or R-155 or R 155 DVD recorder player. It's a piece of crap. I wish I had read the reviews first.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Old news

Sunday flowers

We actually had guests over for a cookout last Sunday. We managed to get the house looking pretty decent. It's weird b/c now we're back to a mini-mess with a washing machine and dryer behind the couch.

Anyway, hubbs had the partial SA on Friday and his results haven't changed. The doc is willing to let us try Clomid. So the poor man will be on Clomid, Arimidex and blood pressure meds. Wow. I really feel guilty about that, but I guess I shouldn't b/c if it were me I'd do the same and will have to if we move on to IVF. Hubbs will take 50mg of Clomid on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Wait-n-see.

My little Yorkie has a cough. I really don't want/can't take anymore drama. Hopefully it's nothing big. He's going to the vet tomorrow.

Wrote this and forgot to post it last week :)
This tile is done and I'll post pics soon. My dog is fine and on meds for the cough.

Tile step-by-step

Update: Martha Stewart is having a show all about Bloggers today. Leave a comment on her blog and your blog may be featured. Visit: for more details.

So we're in the home stretch. I think. Yesterday hubbs took off from work so we could tile the laundry room. Whew. It's a small room, but a little difficult to tile due to lack of space for maneuvering. We chose 16x16 ceramic tiles and big grout spacers to make it a little easier on ourselves. Here's the picture proof:

We took the washing machine and dryer out and then pulled-up the remaining carpet. What was left was a yucky looking old vinyl floor with carpet glue stuck to it.

Hubbs had to chip it away with a paint scraper and hammer. This stuff was really stuck so it took over an hour.

We placed the first tile in the corner and then snapped blue chalk lines for guides.

Here's hubbs combing the mortar/thinset with a trowel before placing the tile.

Then he placed the tile down and wiggled it into place. While the thinset is still wet, you can slide the tile as needed to put the spacers in.

Closeup of the spacers. A cross for corners on one side and a bar for in between tiles on the other side.

Half done!

Sometimes a tile space is too small to fit the comb/trowel so you have to "back butter" the tile directly with thinset instead of the floor.

All done! We used 3-different kinds of thinset cuz we wanted to use up what we already had. Two containers were gray and one was white. You'll never see it once the grout is down.

I'll do the grouting later today. Once the grout dries I'll paint the trim and the laundry room will be finished.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Oil Infusions

Lunch. Herbed oil drizzled over penne with vodka sauce and grated cheese.

Several years ago hubbs and I made some oil infusions and gave them away as holiday gifts. We made 2-different kinds--herbed and spicy. I've been wanting to do it again for a while and finally did last night. I only made the herb infused oil this time. I tried to recreate the dipping oil that Bertucci's serves with bread.

Here's how I did it:
1. Roasted a small bulb of garlic. (First time doing this. Super easy.)
2. Pulled leaves of rosemary off two stems and bruised them with a rolling pin to expose more flavor
3. Poured 1 1/2-cups of extra virgin olive oil into a small saucepan
4. Put the roasted garlic, rosemary, 2+ tbls. dry Italian herb blend, 1/4 cherry pepper, 1+ tbls. dry oregano, and a sliver habanero pepper into the oil and stirred

5. Heated on medium to low for 10 minutes. Occasionally stirred. Don't let it boil, smoke or burn.
6. Let cool, covered, and put in the fridge overnight
7. Used a funnel, coffee filter and metal mesh strainer to separate oil from herbs

That's it! Can't wait to use it. It smells wonderful. To eat it as a dip with warm bread I will pour some in a saucer and sprinkle it with grated Romano cheese.

Plain extra virgin olive oil on left and herb infused oil on right.
*Updated: had it over some pasta for lunch. Delish!

Earlier this week my husband accidentally deleted my entire reader. Grrrrrrrr! So I have to go back through and redo all the feeds. Grrrrrrrrr!

Tuesday, September 09, 2008

New Toy

I got a new toy. I'm so excited. I've been wanting a Kitchenaid for a while and really couldn't justify the expense, but with all the remodeling I'd been thinking more about getting one. I got this never-used (sans box) mixer with the slicer/shredder and meat grinder attachments all for $175 on Craigslist. Craigslist is my new love. Forget Ebay. Especially since I've been screwed twice on Ebay and swore it off a couple years ago. I know lots of people have great success using Ebay, but it's not for me. I like dealing locally a lot better. I really wanted a cobalt one to match the counters we're going to do, but a deal is a deal. This one is imperial grey and retail it's all worth about $400. Yeah...loving Craigslist.

Hubbs says he's expecting some sort of treat this week since we finally have our counter space back and I'm cooking again. We'll have to see how the week shapes up. I'm so busy still trying to put the house back together, but I can't wait to use it.

On the infertility side of the coin, we had a urologist appointment yesterday. The Arimidex doesn't seem to be working anymore to keep hubbs testoterone up. We're going back in on Friday for a mini or partial semen analysis looking at count only. I was hoping hubbs could try Clomid with the Arimidex, but apparently men on Clomid usually have low FSH, and hubbs has high (24) FSH, low testosterone and high estrogen. Sucks. Anyone else have experience with this? Most of this feels like a "moo point" b/c I've yet to find ANYONE who has had a husband have success with any of these drugs. And by success I mean they got pregnant without ART.

This is what I keep seeing as I think about yesterdays appointment. LOL I can't believe I found this video.