Bella Vida

Married for 6 years. Trying to have a baby almost as long. Living a Beautiful Life.

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Location: Maryland, United States

Married & Trying to have a baby for almost 4 years. Dealing with MF (male factor infertility).

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Skiing and Sundance...again


Park City Ski Resort, 2009


Sundance Poster, Village at The Yard, 2009

Dear me. I've been hiding...again. I've also been skiing (slightly) and to Sundance...again. This all seems like deja-vu. Perhaps it was the job that made me go into hiding. Perhaps it was the impending baby-less holiday season. I'm not sure. I just know I've been fearful a lot and it's made me abandon things. I haven't check email in months. And of course it creates a lot of anxiety. LOL. I laugh at myself here. The absurdity of it all. Anyway, I'm trying to dig myself outta the dark hole. One of the things I'm starting with is this blog. Why not?

I haven't been up to much except work and the ski trip. Work is fine and I'm so thankful to have a job. The trip to Utah was good. I managed to ski down the mountain once and then on over to the bar. The lift still freaks me the hell out, and I was actually shaking while clinging to my glass of wine at the Park City Legends bar. That was the extent of my skiing. Returned the rented skis the same day. O-V-E-R it.

We managed to see 3-films this time. One really weird art-installation-ish screening and 2-actual films. We saw Push and The Girlfriend Experience both at the Eccles Theater. Push was a very sad but amazing film. I'm so happy we were able to not only get in to see it, but to also to meet the director Lee Daniels and the films main character actress--Gabby Sidibe (pics to come). The story is so tragic I almost have no words, but the performances are so incredible. Must see. The Steven Soderbergh screening was interesting. His newest film is one of those that is completely outta sequence. You see 5-10 minute clips and have to put it together in your head. Soderbergh introduced the film and closed with questions from the audience. Not a bad film. I just didn't see a purpose to it. It didn't make me feel anything. I did notice how he played with his wedding ring while answering questions about the films star though.

A very close friend is pregnant. She is a fellow IFer and I'm happy for her. I have 3 girlfriends. Two of the three got pregnant last year. The two that I'm closest to. I spent the ski holiday with my newly pregnant girlfriend I've know since I was 5. We talked about her fears of never actually holding a live baby in July. We talked about the scars IF leaves you with that won't heal just cuz you have a positive pee stick. We talked about how others just don't get that. We talked about the twin she lost and and the nuchal scan of the surviving twin that was measuring "off the charts abnormal" and then a week later suddenly appeared normal. We talked about things I can only imagine daydreaming about. Wine works quicker in higher altitudes.

So here I am. I'll try to be kinda consistent. BTW, COSTCO sells discount lift tickets. We got them for $50/each when the regular price at the lift was $83. No one talks/tells you about this?? Or at least no one had told me. I happened upon the info 1-day before our trip and we picked up the tickets at the Salt Lake store.

9 Comments:

Blogger Sunny said...

I have missed you!

2:10 PM  
Blogger Cynthia said...

I've missed you, too!! Glad you're back.

6:51 PM  
Blogger astral said...

I missed you!! It sounds like you had a great time at Sundance.

6:47 PM  
Blogger Deathstar said...

Glad you're back too. No kidding about the wine and the high altitude - I'm discovering that here in Banff. I wish I could be at the film festival with you.

5:45 PM  
Blogger KRISTI said...

I'm so glad you back. :)

1:16 PM  
Blogger Chili said...

I've missed you too! I think about you all the time, particularly when I eat grits ;) (I still have a little left out of what you sent me, plus every time we go to the city I insist on going to IHOP because they're the only restaurant I've found that serves them!).

Good to see you again. :)

1:38 AM  
Blogger Deathstar said...

What are you up to? Please post!d

2:53 PM  
Blogger Lorza said...

Just came across your blog- I am a MFI wife too. Curious to see what you are up to!

2:25 PM  
Blogger Elisabeth said...

Hello!

My name is Elisabeth, and I am an infertility / repeated pregnancy loss "veteran". You can read a little bit about me and my experiences in my blog: drhousewife.blogspot.com . I am completing a PhD in Counseling Psychology, and my dissertation is focused upon the impact of infertility on marriage. I believe strongly that there is a need for better support services for men and women who are undergoing IF diagnosis and treatment, and my hope is that this study will aid in the development of such services.

I am contacting you after stumbling across your blog. I am recruiting participants for my study, and wanted to invite you and your husband to take part. All that would be involved would be the completion of an online survey, that would take approximately 20 minutes. All couples who complete the surveys will receive a voucher good for a pair of free movie tickets at a Regal Cinemas.

Please let me know if you are interested by emailing me at UTInfertilityResearch@gmail.com .

Best,
Elisabeth

2:14 PM  

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