Bella Vida

Married for 6 years. Trying to have a baby almost as long. Living a Beautiful Life.

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Location: Maryland, United States

Married & Trying to have a baby for almost 4 years. Dealing with MF (male factor infertility).

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Skiing and Sundance...again

Park City Ski Resort, 2009

Sundance Poster, Village at The Yard, 2009

Dear me. I've been hiding...again. I've also been skiing (slightly) and to Sundance...again. This all seems like deja-vu. Perhaps it was the job that made me go into hiding. Perhaps it was the impending baby-less holiday season. I'm not sure. I just know I've been fearful a lot and it's made me abandon things. I haven't check email in months. And of course it creates a lot of anxiety. LOL. I laugh at myself here. The absurdity of it all. Anyway, I'm trying to dig myself outta the dark hole. One of the things I'm starting with is this blog. Why not?

I haven't been up to much except work and the ski trip. Work is fine and I'm so thankful to have a job. The trip to Utah was good. I managed to ski down the mountain once and then on over to the bar. The lift still freaks me the hell out, and I was actually shaking while clinging to my glass of wine at the Park City Legends bar. That was the extent of my skiing. Returned the rented skis the same day. O-V-E-R it.

We managed to see 3-films this time. One really weird art-installation-ish screening and 2-actual films. We saw Push and The Girlfriend Experience both at the Eccles Theater. Push was a very sad but amazing film. I'm so happy we were able to not only get in to see it, but to also to meet the director Lee Daniels and the films main character actress--Gabby Sidibe (pics to come). The story is so tragic I almost have no words, but the performances are so incredible. Must see. The Steven Soderbergh screening was interesting. His newest film is one of those that is completely outta sequence. You see 5-10 minute clips and have to put it together in your head. Soderbergh introduced the film and closed with questions from the audience. Not a bad film. I just didn't see a purpose to it. It didn't make me feel anything. I did notice how he played with his wedding ring while answering questions about the films star though.

A very close friend is pregnant. She is a fellow IFer and I'm happy for her. I have 3 girlfriends. Two of the three got pregnant last year. The two that I'm closest to. I spent the ski holiday with my newly pregnant girlfriend I've know since I was 5. We talked about her fears of never actually holding a live baby in July. We talked about the scars IF leaves you with that won't heal just cuz you have a positive pee stick. We talked about how others just don't get that. We talked about the twin she lost and and the nuchal scan of the surviving twin that was measuring "off the charts abnormal" and then a week later suddenly appeared normal. We talked about things I can only imagine daydreaming about. Wine works quicker in higher altitudes.

So here I am. I'll try to be kinda consistent. BTW, COSTCO sells discount lift tickets. We got them for $50/each when the regular price at the lift was $83. No one talks/tells you about this?? Or at least no one had told me. I happened upon the info 1-day before our trip and we picked up the tickets at the Salt Lake store.