Oprah and Infertility

Did anyone see the show yesterday? The first couple featured have a surrogate in India carrying their biological child. According to the show, surrogacy here in the US costs upwards of $70,000, while in India it ranges from $6-12,000. Huge difference. Looking around online I found different numbers, but the bottom line is it's still a lot less in India. Oprah described the process as "women helping women." The money paid to the surrogate is like "winning the lottery." These women are able to better their lives and their families lives in such tremendous ways. Really inspiring story.

Alexis Stewart (Martha's daughter) was also on talking about her infertility struggle. She's been trying for a year to get pregnant using her own eggs and donor sperm at a cost of $28,000 a month which her mother helps pay for. At 42, she stressed finding out early if you're going to have infertility problems through testing. I strongly agree. It's important to know that getting pregnant at any age isn't always as easy as 1-2-baby. She also mentioned seeing celebs getting pregnant in their 40s isn't necessarily what it seems. So true. What I think people are going to have a problem with is Alexis' attitude. She insisted that the shots are no big deal and even demonstrated a real injection. She said that she handles her monthly IVF cycle as a business deal so that she can remain unemotional about it because if she didn't she'd be sad all the time. She was dry and detached from the process, but said her feelings on getting pregnant had nothing to do with her feelings on being a mother.

I really don't want to judge Alexis for her attitude. One thing infertility has done is made me try to stop judging people--especially those in the infertility community. Just because someone doesn't do what I would do or react how I would--I'm trying not to pass judgment. Trying. I know from experience that it doesn't feel good when someone looks at me and says "wow, if I were in your shoes I would have done IVF by now." As for Oprah, she hasn't experienced IF so I don't expect her to connect with this struggle. She is like anyone else that gives out ass-vise because they simply don't know any better and haven't been in my shoes. Plights often don't become important until we are personally touched by them or until they are so horrific we can't help but get pulled in. I'm just happy someone is talking about infertility in a big way.

One more thing--at the end there was one more couple on the show that only got a few minutes to tell their story--Tracey and Jamie. They had just put a 2nd mortgage on their home in order to do IVF. Tracy mentioned that her husband would be giving her the injections and she talked about how they were in this together. I kinda felt sorry for Alexis at that point. She is alone. I can't imagine not having someone to turn to when the walls are caving in around me.