I hate bugs!!

I hate bugs. I swear, they know this and seek me out. Every year we get some bugger that won't leave us the hell alone. I'm all for not killing living things unnecessarily, but the rule is--if you come in this house and you're a critter you must die. We have slugs coming up the walkway--I pour salt barricades. Yeah, I'm a mean heartless bitch and I don't care. I leave carcasses around so their little creepy crawly friends know what they're in for if they screw with me. Crickets I realllllly hate. With my husband gone--the official bug killer--it's a cricket spree around here! I can't freaking believe it. One actually made it up the stairs! This will not work. Someone has told me about a wonder cricket killer called Bayer. I'm gonna get some ASAP. There was even some creepy bug stuck to my bedroom shade??!! When I have to kill critters it's such a scene. There's screaming and jumping and shoes flying. A scene I tell you. I have no idea how I'm going to sleep tonight thinking there's shit crawling on me. I hate bugs. I'm not even that fond of butterflies. Actually, there is one bug I rather like and seek out--lightning bugs. Scratch that. I just looked them up and other than their glowing butt--up close they're scary too. I hate bugs. All of them.