Bella Vida

Married for 6 years. Trying to have a baby almost as long. Living a Beautiful Life.

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Location: Maryland, United States

Married & Trying to have a baby for almost 4 years. Dealing with MF (male factor infertility).

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

And now the TWW

Now we wait. Yesterday started out funny. On Sunday I finished my last of 10 ovulation tests for the fertility monitor. This is my 2nd month using it and last month it required 20 tests. Sunday morning (side note: hearing Maroon 5 here) I get a peak on day 18. I forgot I had used my last test until Sunday night so I go to bed thinking that I gotta get up super early, hold my pee and run to the store to find more tests. I looked a mess charging into CVS at 7am. I got the last box, which was in the wrong spot, and I get home and run into the bathroom to turn the machine on and guess what--no stick today. I guess once you get a peak after the 1st month, it doesn't ask for anymore tests. Thanks. 50 bucks later...

Anyone see the transgender special on 20/20 last week? Wow. I really have to give praise to the parents featured in the special. Incredible courage and wonderful love for their children.

I have an appointment tomorrow with a new RE. I'm sorta excited. Not really. I have been in a fog. I think life has finally caught up with me. It's real. IF is real. Bills are real. Work is real. I have never felt my age and always looked younger, but been older spiritually, or soul-wise. My brain has caught up with my body finally. I feel like an adult and there's no going back. You remember how you felt when you 1st fell in love? That true innocence and excitement. And the second time, after you'd been hurt and experienced pain--you looked at love with a new set of eyes. Careful eyes. Sometimes jaded eyes. I've earned my jaded-life-glasses. Being an adult sucks.

I'm still crocheting and have become a little obsessed. I can't stop. My hand is killing me but still I won't stop. Hahaha. It's taken the place of my evening cocktails :) Probably a good thing.


Blogger Carrie said...

I'm glad you've got a new doctor. That's progress right? I know what you mean by feeling jaded. I think this whole trip makes you weary. Still hopefully you'll get some direction tomorrow.

3:54 PM  
Blogger hopeful to hateful in 28 days said...

We're at the same point in our cycles- Ugh the 2WW!!!! Try to stay sane, hopefully we'll both have good news :)

9:06 PM  

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