Bella Vida

Married for 6 years. Trying to have a baby almost as long. Living a Beautiful Life.

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Location: Maryland, United States

Married & Trying to have a baby for almost 4 years. Dealing with MF (male factor infertility).

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

Day 22...Back to basics

I haven't mentioned infertility in quite a while and yesterday "Shar" left a comment asking how D and I are dealing with the male factor (MF) diagnosis. She and her husband have just found out they have a MF problem too. When we first found out, we wanted a solution. We tried vitamins, bags of frozen peas in the evenings, boxers, urologist after urologist, drugs, and finally exercise--which was the only thing that helped improve D's count. Of course, we were devastated and still are. These days, we've shifted our thinking somewhat to getting healthy and feeling better. It just doesn't feel right to go forward without doing this first. Granted, when we started this 3-hour-tour-to-hell, we were both younger and I was in much better shape-- but that was then and here we are now. I really don't know how we "deal" with it all. Just wake up and get outta bed...most days. I've definitely been depressed--am depressed--wanted to run away. Still here. We've been seeing a therapist together and it's helped more than anything else. So that's it. We're focusing on something that we can control and have let get out of control--for now.

Shar, if you have any other questions feel free to email me. Also, visit Mel's blog list and find others dealing with a male factor diagnosis. Which reminds me I really need to update my blogroll! I have so many new friends and readers to add :)


Blogger JJ said...

Male factor is a tough nut to crack (ooo, hmmm..didnt think about that pun until it was already out!)
But really, its still so taboo to talk about--Mook and I have really tough days.
Shar, feel free to stop in at our blog too-and let me know what your blog url is.
Thanks for posting this D-its always good to remember that those dealing with MF are not alone!

11:22 AM  
Blogger FERGIE said...

WOW!!! Who knew when I started bloggin for fun, that I would find such a wealth of "real" information. Thanks for sharing.

2:03 PM  
Blogger Fertilize Me said...

I am so proud to read of all yur healthy sucess you have made over the past month! you are doing great!

2:09 PM  
Blogger Susan said...

I agree with jj. MF is hard. I did email some people through Mel's blog and they were very helpful. I can't post this on my blog because my family reads it but I believe we are headed in the direction of using a donor. My mom thinks IVF is like playing God and using a donor you might get some crazy person. She doesn't understand that it's not like that. Dmarie I give you kudos for keeping up with the challenge. I'm eating okay but not exercising which will all change when my semester ends. And we are getting an elliptical. I'm very excited.

9:57 PM  
Blogger Somewhat Ordinary said...

Male factor is hard-as JJ put it, but it isn't the end of the road! There are so many of us out there dealing with this diagnosis and it is humbling to hear how different couples have handled their situations. It isn't an easy mountain to climb, but it can be done!

8:37 AM  
Blogger Trace said...

MF is tough, and I think a bit of an ego thing for men. We are using a donor and I know my husband is afraid of our would-be child not 'loving him' or 'respecting' him when he finds out. And yes, in our society male infertility is a big secret as is sperm donor conception. Whereas adoption is much more accepted.

8:43 AM  
Blogger Lea Bee said...

thanks for updating us.

6:51 PM  

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