What do you say?
posted by dmarie | 11:00 PM
Bella Vida
Married for 6 years. Trying to have a baby almost as long. Living a Beautiful Life.
About Me
- Name: dmarie
- Location: Maryland, United States
Married & Trying to have a baby for almost 4 years. Dealing with MF (male factor infertility).
Email me: dmarie at ureach.com
Blogs I Read
- A Little Sweetness
- Are we there yet?
- A Woman My Age
- Born in Our Hearts
- Changing Expectations
- Darbs
- dooce
- Fertility Futility
- Flutter of Hope
- Forever Hopeful
- Hopeful to Hateful in 28 days
- In and Out of Luck
- Infertility & Hope
- Infertility Times
- Infertility SUCKS
- Journey towards my little miracle
- Just crazy enough to try
- Kir's Corner
- Lady in Waiting
- Looking for 2 Lines
- Losing the Baby Wait
- Matthew Miller
- Melinda Living in Florence, Italy
- Money Makes Sperm Go Round
- Motherhoodbound
- My Dusty Ovaries
- My Life Italian
- My Perky Ovaries
- Not How I Planned It
- One Hardy Swimmer
- Painting Chef
- Posie Gets Cozy
- Precious Little
- Quest for a Baby
- Reproductive Jeans
- Shelly in Rome
- Sibling for Celia
- Smarshy
- Sticky Bean
- Still Trying After All Those Pills
- Stirrup Queens
- Thrift Shop Project
- Waiting on Two Pink Lines
- Which Way to Baby?
- Woman Who Cried Pregnant
- What's shakin'
- Infertility's Common Thread Freebie *Updated*
- Rockin' Girl Blogger
- She works hard for the money!
- Stri.pper Class
- Pursuit of Happiness
- Weekend wrap-up
- Show & Give support!
- My Jeep is sick!
- Weird Balance
Tuesday, September 04, 2007
14 Comments:
Depends on my mood, my level of comfort with the individual, and the tone of the conversation.
I've recently said, "well it's not as easy as they made it sound in high school..."
I'm with LJ on this and it would depend on my mood and comfort level with the individual, but it usually sounded a lot like your answer.
My husband will always ALWAYS always respond with a long-ish tale about our IF adventures. ALWAYS. (People have recommended REs and loopy treatments to him in response).
I usually just say "we're trying." People just smile wanly and we change the subject...
I wish I had cool answers like everyone else. I'm in the Nica category and just say that we're trying. Most people assume that we are having difficulty because I have MS.
Good question and I like your response. This is a really hard one... as much as I always think I'll say something and want to help make people more aware, I tend to chicken out when it comes down to it and not feel brave enough to put myself out there like that. Although this definitely depends on the person and situation.
I agree it is situational. It depends on whether or not I know the person or how I feel about them. I give close friends/family the benefit of the doubt where I'd probably tell strangers to watch their step. It also depends on my mood how I handle it.
In a bad mood, I've come right out and said "I'm infertile". I didn't mean to sound nasty but I had just miscarried and didn't want to hear about it.
I usually ignore it. I know that this sounds weird, but I ignore the question and start talking about something else. People look at me like I am clueless but usually go along with the new conversation.
Totally depends. Sometimes I just brush it off and say "Some day". Sometimes I explain our situation. Same with DH, although he recently added another one: When someone with absolutely no business asking asks, he just tells them to shut up and mind their own business. It's good for a laugh, because the people are usually so shocked.
IN the beginning of my IF, I used to say one day and act as though we don't want kids or aren't ready for them yet. But now, I just say hopefully soon and leave it at that. All my close friends/family around me know I have issues now so I don't get the dreaded questions anymore. I liked your answer though.. ! Very bold of you!
I usually said, "well, it's not for lack of trying" which usually embarrassed folks enough to shut them right up. But sometimes if I wanted to take pity on someone, I might just say "when the time is right"
I think what I'd LIKE to say is, "Actually, we're infertile. Why do you ask?" But in the moment, I just get tongue-tied.
I have to admit I'm usually the sheepish type that says "I dont' know...someday".
What I would LIKE to say is something to the effect of "Well, my husband has no swimmers. We spent $25,000 on IVF treatments last year, now we're trying donor sperm! Thanks for reminding me!"
If it's a guy asking, I'd also like to throw in: "Hey...you're kinda cute...do you know how many sperm you get per ejaculate?"
I LOVE your response- biscuits- that'll shut them up. I just had this convo with FJ and he doesn't seem to feel as yucky when he gets this question. I hate it though. I hate it when people talk about their children and if they miss them during the day. Hello- I miss the ones I have never had more than you will know but it would be "awkward" to talk about it. I always say, "we're trying" and then of course I get the story of, "yeah, it took me almost 3 months for my first". Ha yeah- here's a quick kick in the ass for ya.
I'm liking your response. It's colorful but informative. Without getting too medical you are making it clear that you're trying...
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